20 November 2008

Surgeon General's Warning

Dear Lane & Layla,

Once upon a time, your mama and daddy went on a big trip through the desert to Las Vegas with a suburban full of yahoos. One liked to rub cookie dough in his teeth. Two wouldn't quit talking and laughing. One entertained himself with a stuffed monkey all the way. Another wouldn't wake up. And then, we stopped at the Grand Canyon. Isn't it beautiful? It's something you just can't describe to another person. You have to see it for yourself to believe it. We all piled out of the burb into the brisk, cool March air and went on a short hike to check it all out.

And then, people started to climb down the side of the cliffs. Our people. Scaling and crawling and walking and falling two feet at a time into those yawning, gaping maws.

Voice of Reason: "Um, guys? I don't think you're supposed to crawl over the rails...."

My stomach lurched a little just peeking over the railing's edge.

Voice of Reason: "Exactly how shall I tell your mothers that you fell into the Grand Canyon?"

Rock slides do happen. And there's a river down there at the bottom. With rapids. I'm sure of it.

Voice of Reason: "Who shall I get to take your places in the wedding, after you slip and fall to your deaths?"

And there are little tiny ant-people riding burrows down there. If you catapult down and hit a donkey, you're toast.

And Lane and Layla, in case you weren't able to identify these two people picking their way down the wall of the canyon in the first photo, let me zoom in:

Yes, those would be your parentals. Look how Mama is balancing herself by sticking out her rear. She's really gonna love me extra for pointing that out and posting this picture!

(Hi, Jackie!!)

And while we're pointing fingers, Caleb and Rijilah, please note:

Moral of the Story:

Do NOT climb over the railings and crawl down into the Grand Canyon.

It gives Stacey hives.

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